nothing really , just thanks

hi my lovelies , if you’re reading this then i hope you’re doing well , i realized i’ve never said thank you to you , you who has been keeping up with me and my blogs. but today i’m thankful , thankful because you let me share my journey with you , thankful because you’re letting me be a part of your life. today is a reminder for you and for me , to please put yourself first , hold on tight to the things you love , live for you and break barriers. understand that it gets tough and sometimes things don’t work but also know eventually something better will come up , trust me , trust you & trust your lord. remember to take pauses , don’t over work yourself. it will align. learn to fight for yourself and for your healing , learn to appreciate the little things , feel content & seek refuge from jealousy , envy and greed. it’s important. remember you’re only human , love you to bits , learn to detox constantly & please drink lots of water.

yuri , j , taw.

which ever version you prefer.

my wallpaper

my wallpaper

my home screen says

“ i am sad in a way that is exhausting and painful “

and i have never felt anything more

than that.

i feel it so deep because that’s me

that’s exactly how i’m coping

everyday.

i try to do better for me

everyday

i crawl mentally

everyday

i’m pushed back to zero

i see my efforts

i see them

but

everyday

i’m back to that spot

everyday

i’m hurting

and for the first time

i can’t even be more positive

about it.

loss

impatience has led to far too much

i say

you agree.

wish you held a bit longer

i say

you agree.

-joebloggs

idk ?

today , i’m shattered

in pieces if not , i’m sad from all the things i held high , my anxiety keeps peaking ,

i wake up painfully sad.

my heart beating too fast

hurting and what not

all because , you wouldn’t listen.

“ i’m sorry “ i did scream that one too many times

but you wouldn’t have it

i remember letting you know

to forgive is to love

and

to love is to forgive.

but you wouldn’t listen.

now i’ve been tossed to the dark

who knew this day would come

not me though ?

– me ?

j , or yurï

to which ever of my personalities that needs this

it’s unhealthy that i forgot what makes me whole

“ writing “

it’s been a while i wrote

& for me to write is to live

so i was only surviving on so much love.

i let you sail the boat ..

i forgot the things that made me , me.

i was so comfortable.

i’m sorry not to you

but to myself for letting you down

for thinking only that can fuel you.

i’m sorry not to you

but to myself for hoping for too much from you even when i forgot to take care of you.

i’m sorry , i’m sorry

but listen we still have forever to make amends

so starting today

i’ll constantly write a little bit more , when my heart blooms and when my heart darkens

on both days i’ll remember to be thankful despite all odds.

because this is the only thing i own.

– j , or maybe yurï

sweets,

i claim sweets ,

so proudly

i constantly say , yes i’m sweets

made with so much love

made with so much sugar

i could burst

just because of how amazing

i realized i could be

though , even when i do

it will sparkle all over

you’re there for me &

i don’t really know if i’m there as much

but i’d like you to constantly know

and understand

that this is growth ,

and just maybe , nothing has felt better

only thing that can be compared is

when a strawberry filled

sweet bursts in my mouth

you know ,

the amazingness

it’s beyond me

but i know

this is it

and i hope

hope , that it remains so

as i’m made out of so much love

to give you

so yes , nice to meet you

i’m sweets

-taw🥀

many thanks

it’s becoming just a little bit too much

but i need to be patient

with the most beautiful patience

because i deserve every good thing

i guess ,

i’m so tired

i need this to happen so soon

as it’s my get away

my break , my breather

i close my eyes

and as the tears flow

i call ,

i call on to my rabb,

i say please

it’s excruciating

i just want it to stop

and he makes a way for me

constantly.

so today , just like yesterday i give him my all and constantly put my trust in him

i understand that he alone understands and he comes through for me despite how flawed i am.

today i’m thankful for Gods presence in my life !

Alhamdullilah

i guess

i guess

well i guess

bad habits take too

long to die

because you constantly remind

me that it is so

i guess we do things

we often complain of

we probably don’t notice

unless others do it to us

well i guess

its just one of my nags

but i promise i’d rather be in my bag

sorry it’s just too much for me

cause i’d never.

uno

well , i guess

reflection 1. -taw🥀

in awe

in awe

as to how

quick you are to show

yours is yours truly

in total shock that

you’d constantly play victim

no i don’t blame you.

i only blame myself

for letting it happen

being amazing

and genuinely

caring wholeheartedly

nothing serious

just in ,

in awe

faded yelly

like a hex constantly jinxing

when i swear it’s better

it shows me it’s still in ctrl

did i forget

it was too good to be true

a spam of yellow days

was i almost forgetting

days of the blue

wow , you really must have thought

reality always on a clock

same old tick tock

always around the block

lurking waiting for a simple slip

i spoke so high of the yellow

it got tired of me

probably i do not deserve it fully

i say

probably