my wallpaper

my wallpaper

my home screen says

“ i am sad in a way that is exhausting and painful “

and i have never felt anything more

than that.

i feel it so deep because that’s me

that’s exactly how i’m coping

everyday.

i try to do better for me

everyday

i crawl mentally

everyday

i’m pushed back to zero

i see my efforts

i see them

but

everyday

i’m back to that spot

everyday

i’m hurting

and for the first time

i can’t even be more positive

about it.