the healing ,

the stiff pain comes again.
i’m so used to my heart aching
so i just wait till it stops
when it’s too much i hit my chest
and if i’m lucky the tears start to flow
if i’m not
it hurts more and i ,
i wait till it stops.
hurting without knowing the cause
being alive but not living.
breathing and just surviving
because i have to.
you tell me it shouldn’t be an option
and i tell you it’s all i’ve got.
the days will pass you say
i tell you. you don’t know how they drain me.
you make me feel better
but we both know it’s temporary
and it hurts.
but i’m better than yesterday
and even if i get sad most of the time
i know it will pass.
i don’t know how i got here.
this is how i feel.
a victim
but i don’t want to cry
i don’t want to cry anymore
i’m hurting.
but
i’m healing.

-taw🥀