Eccedentesiast

could have said it would be
but it won’t

in time of need
i have no one else
except myself

i carefully shut the others out
and blame myself for not doing better
i take a look at my wrist
and perhaps
it will be better to end it all

i try to tell someone exactly how i feel
but it doesn’t work
i have tears in my eyes when i try to explain
to explain what kills me
but i can’t.

you ask me why i’m sad
why i’m pathetic
then you think of me as broken.

and i tell you i’m alright
cause i know once i try
my tears
hold me back

do you think i like to be like this.
do you think if i knew the cause of this
i wouldn’t try to make things better
do you think i do not love myself more than you love me ?

i try
and it doesn’t work.

 

eccedentesiast : someone who fakes a smile , when all they want to do is cry , disappear/die.

-Taw🥀